Hate Mail From BratzOnline (Oh, joy)

Dear BratzLoverGurl1,
You may THINK I'm a poser,(Yes, I do. Thank you, Captain OBVIOUS) but I'm NOT.(And That's where you're WRONG.) I AM bratzlovergrl1,(The more you deny it the more I know it's true) and I can prove it, unlike SOMEBODY on YouTube.(Yes, I am SOMEBODY on YouTube. And you're not.) I bet you're just 12 years old too,(If I were 12, do you think I would have a blog? Uhh, NO!) just trying to act like you're 17 or something,(And I suppose you are?) trying to make everybody think I'M a phony.(Umm, nobody's used that word since, like, the 60s) Well, look who's talking!!(Who, you?) I bet you think that comment on my channel made me cry.(As a matter of fact, I'm sure it did.) Well, it didn't,(Lies!) because I'm not a baby like you.(Well, here, anyone under the age of 9 is a baby) I bet you think you're soooo smart, huh.(Yes, I am smart. I was rejected by the Gifted Program even though I had an IQ of 200 at age 4!) Well, you're not, so get over it.(Stop using the word 'well' so much. And get over what? You sound like Junie B. Jones.) Stop being so full of yourself,(If I weren't full of myself, then who would I be full of? You?) and stop being a liar.(Umm, sorry to burst your bubble, but the only liar here is YOU.) It's a sin to lie(Oh, now you're getting all religious on me, eh?), and you won't be getting into heaven at the spped you're going.(Ohh, so it's a race now? And you didn't even spell speed right!)
P.S. - Your mamma's so fat, even Dora can't explore her.(Umm, was that supposed to be funny?) And she's so old, her birth certificate says "EXPIRED". (Seriously, where are you getting these insults from? You really need to update your burn book.)